Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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