You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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