porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
