bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
