How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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