can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
