in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
