Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
