My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
