you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
are you so shy because you have an std?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
