i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
