i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
