walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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