Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Farmville is her only friend.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
