soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
