Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
