I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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