Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
