That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
