3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
