Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
