Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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