Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
