But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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