Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i believe in u and ur pee
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
