if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize