I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
