I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize