Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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