So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
