i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize