Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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