I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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