lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
