no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
