gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
