So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
