dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
