If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
