he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
