i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
