Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
