So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
MIDGETS
????
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
