Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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