I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
