I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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