went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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