He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
operation harelip BJ is a go
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
