Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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