we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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