I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
