Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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