Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
