Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
