He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
