weddingsv make me drug and hornr
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
