before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
