Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
