Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we made out on top of his cat.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
