idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
