I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
