I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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