It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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